Thursday, December 30

"To forgive the unforgivable"


I was thinking what should I write, should I write it in bahasa or in English, and now I guess you guys know it that I'm now writing this in English. I'm so sorry, really, I just sometimes have some kinda feelings that I need it to be expressed in different ways. 

I have two things that I always have in mind. Things that I will remember and keep it to my heart, so closely. I will not touch anything about 'couple'. You may relate this to your relationship, any kind of relationship that you have. I just feel like sharing, even though you guys might already know it. So chill, continue reading if you want, and stop if think you should. 

In any relationship, when we talk about 'love', there are two things you have to bear in mind that love is:

All about honesty

When you can speak with no lies to your partner. Regardless of anything you do, you have to be honest. Speak only the truth. You have to be understanding between each other. At first, you might think the reason you're lying is only because you want to take care of your partner's heart, and you do not want to hurt her/him but in the end it will only become worse. Keep this in mind that, if you happen to lie to your partner throughout your relationship, then really, it must be something wrong with you or your relationship.

However, when you're married it is not a must for you to tell everything about your past to your husband/wife. Keep it to yourself. I heard this from Kuliah Online Ustaz Erfino, where he said that what happens in the past will not change anything even though you bring it up to the present. So be it. What is even important is, we know what is wrong and what is right. 

To forgive the unforgivable

I presume some of you might already hear this somewhere, but just let me point out what I feel and what I think about this. How would you define 'love'? What exactly does it mean by 'love'? And what is the difference between 'love' and 'crush'? I really do not have any idea about 'love' even though I had some silly experience about it. I would say that if I had given the second chance, that I do not want to get involved in it. Save only for my husband. Some people may laugh, how could I save and not to fall in love before the marriage takes place. No answer, but I have Him to show me the way.

Love is to forgive the unforgivable when you can forgive thing that seems so impossible to be forgiven. If you cannot forgive, then I would just say, it is not love after all, just crush. It does not have any effects on you. Nothing! You're not hurt, you look fine. That is what I call 'crush'. All right, I know I just generalise it, well, I just feel it that way. No harm done, right? It's my opinion, so be it. Look at our parents now, it has been for years, my parents? almost 28 years now, they have been doing great and Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for that. They have gone through all the obstacles together, always be there for each other. Even so they have done wrongs, they forgive each other, this is love. And they both really have the commitment to make the marriage lasts longer. That is the real power of love, the power of 'FORGIVE'. Or perhaps, that's the power of 'redha'. Baraqah from Allah. 

“I love you because of your religion. If you let go of your religion, then I have to let go of my love for you” -Iman Nawawi-

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Aida Ismail juga penulis untuk blog Antara Mimpi & Realiti. Anda boleh mengikuti beliau di sini pada setiap Khamis dan di Twitter. Untuk membaca semua hasil penulisan beliau di blog 100penulis.com, anda boleh klik label Aida Ismail.

22 comments:

therosputih said...

nice talk dear...love is not that easy for those who always think that love is everything...

Aida Ismail said...

Experience is the best teacher. And Allah is the best guidance we have. May Allah bless. InshaAllah =)

shandye. said...

i love this quote: "what happens in the past will not change anything even though you bring up it to the present"

most of us finds it really hard to forgive and let go of whatever that our partner has done but then again we constantly put the blame on our partner when he/she refuses to forgive the mistake that we had committed in the past.

i think whats more important that forgiveness is acceptance. one's willingness and readiness of accepting his/her partner's flaws and mistake is one of the key ingredient for a lasting relationship...

Aida Ismail said...

@shandye : and forgive is something that is so precious. not everyone deserves that, but there are few who really worth to get the forgiveness. that's why to forgive is a part of love =)

syaftome said...

i think...
u don't need to explain...
if you want to write in english...
people will understand...

btw...its true...
honesty is a must in any relationship...
but sometimes...white lie is necessary in certain situations...
because there are times...
secrets are better left unspoken...

and on that second point...
forgiveness is one thing...
and admit mistakes is another thing...
so, we must admit mistakes for things to go better...

Aida Ismail said...

@syaftome: have you ever heard of some people saying, to attract your readers, use language that is well understood. I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it. but from my experience, when i read an english entry, i tend to read only the half of it. and you guys as well, it all depends on you. to make things interesting, because i didnt how to make them interesting. No creativity =D

I have explained what ustaz erfino said, about some things that should be kept as secrets, not telling the partner. As long as we know, Allah knows everything =)

And last thing, agree to your point about admitting. it's true how forgiveness is given, if only we admit our wrongs. and here again, it comes the idea of honesty.

sorry =) and thank you for the great opinion. very much appreciated.

syaftome said...

creativity is one thing...
but the information is much more important...
and this entry...is really informative...and I liked it very much...
so, keep it up..^_^..

and i just forgot about that last quote...
what does it have to do with the rest of this entry...
i can't see the point...

Aida Ismail said...

@syaftome : hehe, i like to put some nice quotations before i end my entry. i don't know why =D sorry. it might not relate to my entry, but it could relate to my life and others' as well.

syaftome said...

owh...okay...
im just wondering though...

Aida Ismail said...

@syaftome : no worries, thank you for pointing it out. anyway, welcome to the family of 100penulis. =)

syaftome said...

hahaha...thanks...

Aida Ismail said...

--need to change to title of the post-- =D confusing, anyway, maybe that's my style =D always put unnecessary words

chenta said...

I love this entry so much! ^_^

make me think something that related with my life actually...hahahahha...

shandye. said...

i love it when people writes in english, not to showcase his/her understanding or prowess in the language but it show that he/she is confident in using that language.

there is nothing wrong if there are some typo or grammatical errors here and there. all of us make mistakes. furthermore, english is not our first language so its okay if we did make some mistakes here and here. all in all, all of us are constantly learning, right?

i have discovered a few blogs whereby the writer exclusively writes in english and at the very beginning his/her writing is so bad you can't help but (oh, my God... this is so wrong in so many levels!) have a good laugh at it. but as time goes by and his/her writing progresses, the blog became quite good and informative and i regularly drop by to his/her blog now. what i am trying to say here is that i totally salute and respect those who have the guts to write in english and display them in public such as blog and whatnot for the whole world to judge and criticize...

simultaneously, writing in english will help the reader learn the language better so i think its a two-way process.

waa... tetibe masuk semangat student tesl. ahaks...

CerTot #03: Yang Termanis dan Terpahit

KeCiK said...

At some point gua always believe that it is easier to get forgiveness than permission. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

Osem lah. Ini karangan tahap dak muet band 6. Mesti selalu lepak dengan student 4 flat. Komen-komen atas ni dah macam native speakers, pewitt !

Pardon me for my academic sense of humour.

:)

humbleyat said...

totally agreed on "Some people may laugh, how could I save and not to fall in love before the marriage takes place. No answer, but I have Him to show me the way"

if you really want that, He will give you the best man..but need to pray harder and let ur tawakal......Insha Allah..(maybe listing question directly to ur future husband is the best thing..then there is no crush..he2)

Aida Ismail said...

@chenta : thank you =) very much appreciated. banyak lagi kena perbaiki. inshaAllah. hehe

Aida Ismail said...

@shandye : true indeed. it's not about how good our english is, but it is the matter of how brave we are to try things. =) learn from mistake, grammar is just a part of it. but most of all, we have the guts and we posses the courage to use english.

Aida Ismail said...

@kecik : tak pernah ambik muet. and tak rasa akan ambik muet =D hehehe. forgiveness is one thing that we should treasure =)

Aida Ismail said...

@humbleyat : agree agree agree =D hehe. the best man who protects a woman's dignity will take care and guide us to a better way and mostly he will remind us of our God, Allah =)

Fina Sophie said...

love this entry. :)

cikda, it's up to your preference actually. i believe you write what your heart says to. hehehe. regardless what language you are using ;)

anyss said...

Salam,
Love this entry....Fuhhhhh tetiba rasa macam nak bercinta ;)

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