Thursday, October 28

[Opt 4] 'Goodbye, sadness…'

Continuation from opt 1, opt 2 and opt 3.

Hi all. How are you? This is the final episode of Hana. Phew~ I hope you all will enjoy this last part and as usual, do drop some sweets and chocolates in the comment box! Zillion thanks to readers that follows this story. I don’t know if this will be the last story I wrote but, don’t miss out my next entries ya? (^____^)

‘Let the rain falls, and drenched on my pain…’


I never knew that the last time I say farewell to my father, is the very last farewell.

“Hana, your father is gone. He went into an accident.”

I got the call from mother. She’s crying hardly on the phone. I’m in the middle of study week because the mid-term exams are coming next week. I don’t know what to do. I even didn’t cry any tears. My mind went blank. I almost feel like fainting. I rush back to home immediately. I cannot think of anything, just father. My heart beats faster.

At home, there are so many people. My relatives, my uncles and aunties are here. Some of them cry out tears, some of them look at me in such a pity way. In mother’s room, I see father sleeping on the bed. Mother is there beside him, crying.

“Mother, he is sleeping right?” I asked.

“Hana, my dear…,” mother approaches me and hugs me.

“He sleeps so quietly.”

“Your father is already gone, Hana,” said mother again, convincing me.

Yes I know, yet my mind just didn’t want to admit it. I touch his hand, it is cold.

“Father, Hana is here.”

He didn’t answer. I place my ear on his chest. I close my eyes, concentrating. There is no heart beat sound.

“Father is really leaving me.” I said it slowly.

Right after I open my eyes again, my small tears flows. I look again at father’s face. My tears fall on his face. I will miss this face. I just kissed his cheek a week before. How can he leave me after just one week I left home? He still doesn’t see me embrace my own happiness. He still doesn’t give me the love he left behind before. I kiss his forehead.

‘I love you, father. I will be missing you for the rest of my life.’

*****

It is Saturday. Mid-term exams will start on Tuesday. I’m still at home. I don’t have the will to get to the college. I’m just lying on my bed all day. Sometimes I look at the old albums. I look at father’s faces on those albums. My mother keeps giving me strength for me to go back to college. I know she worried about me. It is just my stubbornness that defends me from moving on. I’m still in the state of sadness. But I cannot cry. I don’t know why.

That evening, a car enters my home yard. My mother goes out to greet them. It was Juuri and Mr. Hiro. I guess they come to fetch me.

“Hana, don’t be sad anymore. Live must goes on, you also said that to me, right?” said Juuri.

I know she also worried about me. We have been friends since we’re at secondary school.

Mr. Hiro says, “If you still here, you will lose huge pointers for not present at the exam hall. You already know, right? I don’t want one of my excellent student fails on this exam.”

“I know…” I don’t know what to say actually.

“Just give me more time, ok?”

“There is no much time left. You have to go back with us now. Please Hana, come back to your senses.” Said Mr. Hiro again.

“You don’t know how I feel.”

“I will take care of you, Hana. We’re friends after all… okay?” said Juuri.

I’m just being silent. 

When I was at the kitchen, mother comes to me.

“My dear, just go to college. I don’t want you to be sad anymore. Don’t put yourself in blame. It is not your fault. It is already his time to go, we cannot help but to let him go. It is God’s Will. You accept that right?”

“I know mother, but my heart keeps wanting me to stay here for a while. I still feel lost.” My tears start to flow again.

“It’s ok, mother is here. It’s ok. ”

I’m at room, thinking for my final decision. Juuri and Mr. Hiro are still waiting for me downstairs. I open again one of the albums. I look at the picture when I was five years old. That was the very last vacation I went with my family before I learned that painful truth.

“Hana, come here on father’s lap. We want to take picture now.”

“Daddy!” I run on him.

“Hahaha. Hana my dear, study hard ok? I love you.”

The flashback keeps whirling inside my mind.

“Hana my dear, study hard ok?”

Now I found what the answer is. I know what I should do now. I take out the picture from the album and put it inside my purse.

“Hana! So you really want to go with us??!” Juuri said out loud just after she saw me bringing my bag along.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I look at Mr. Hiro and Juuri and smile.

I look at my mother and smile. She hugs me again and cries.

“It’s ok. I will always pray for you.”

I kiss my mother’s cheek and say goodbye.

I don’t think that I will be ok in just a day. I know that I really feel down and sad right now. But, when I think about it, I know that father really loves me. He did tell me to study hard. He did say he loves me. That means, he didn’t leave us because he hates me. It is maybe because he cannot control what he’s done. The fact that he regrets what he has done, I can see that he still loves me. It is only me that hold the hate and sad together, that I can no more see the love from him.

“I love you.”

My heart broke again.

I’m leaving. I will not be the crybaby Hana that cries all night anymore. I will go on with new experiences. I will meet so much people. I will carve my own experiences in my book of history. I will leave the sadness, and embrace new happiness.

I am Hana, my father’s daughter.

I’m writing humbly;

Ja ne!

1 comment:

Fina Sophie said...

kenapa tak ada komen kat sini. touching sgt ni smpai smua org tak terkata.. hihi.

nice final episode, kimmy. come clean ^^