Thursday, October 14

[Opt 3] “Hana, forgive me…”

Continuation from Opt 1 and Opt 2  [I highly recommend you to read both opts before proceed with this one because it is a story =)] 

‘If there is no other warm thing that can warm my heart, then I will let it cold…’


“Hana, what are you doing? Doing assignments?” ask Juuri.

“No, I’m just doing some revisions. Mid-term exams are crawling near.”

“Ah, I see. Look here, I have some questions to ask you. Can you help me? I did ask other friends but it seems like they didn’t have any satisfied answers.”


[you may have the best feeling if you hear this song while reading the last part of this opt... if not, you may pause it]

“Thanks Hana! I’ll treat you for lunch after this okay?”

“No, thanks. I have to meet Mr. Hiro after this.”

“Again? Last time I already saw you met him after class.”

“He gave me some special assignments to do.”

“Heh.. It seems like he doesn’t really interested in the assignment but I guess he interested in you.”

“Nah.. I don’t have any interest in him. I just interested in the assignment he gave me.”

“Wah, that’s just like you. A studyholic person. Anyway, good luck with the assignment. And with Mr.Hiro.”

“I already tell you I don’t interest in him, Juuri.”

Juuri just laugh.

I really don’t have any interest in man right now. As you know, my own experience of having bad family relationship has affected my own style of thinking.


It is Friday. I went back to home today because my mother wants me to accompany her to a wedding feast on Saturday. I found out that my brother already got a job. I feel relieved because he always asked mother for money every day before. He was 23 years old and still asking for money from his parent. It bothers my mind.

At night, I got a message from Mr. Hiro.

“Hana, I’ve already checked the assignment you wrote. It is the best solution I’ve ever received from a student! Thanks. I’ll give you a reward later. Oh, and also a new assignment about The Chain Rule and Directional Derivatives. (^__^)”

Mr. Hiro is my Mathematics lecturer. Mathematics was also taught for the Mechanical Engineering students for year 1 and 2. I love Mathematics, and also some parts of Physics and Chemistry. That Mr. Hiro found out that I have too much interest in solving high level Mathematics, and he wants to test me by giving some hard and head breaking topics and questions for me to solve and study. I don’t know what his true intention, but I received his challenge without hesitation. This would kill some of my wasted time, I think.


It is already Sunday. Time flows faster when I’m at home. Maybe it’s my will for not liking to stay home much longer. I go back to the university by bus. This time, my father has to send me to the bus station because mother has something to do with my brother.

“How’s your study? When is the exam?”

“It was great. Mid-term exams are two weeks after now. ”

“I see.”

When we arrived at the bus station, the bus still didn’t arrive yet. We eat some breakfast at the stall nearby. When I think back, I had forgotten when the last time I ate with father. He always comes home late at night. I seldom have any chance to talk with him. I also don’t know what kind of talk I have to start with him. I feel the sense of impropriety against him or in a simple word, awkward. After we have our breakfast, we go to the bus. Before I got into the bus, I hug him. It is not that I hate him. I love him. I love him to death that I hate the fact that he also has another family to share the love that should only for my family.

“Father, I’m sorry. Please live well and pray for my success.”

Father just nodded and smile. I can see very well that he’s hiding the sadness inside him.

“Your father was sorry for doing this to us all. I can see that he’s regretting his mistakes,” said mother last night.

I don’t know how I can act in front of him. I don’t know how I can show the love for him, as my hatred is harder to remove. I’ve been hurting too much. I can’t cry in front of him, I can’t show my weakness. I want him to praise me. I want him to call me when I’m far away at the university. I want him to tell me that he loves me. I want him to remember when my birthday is and wish me happy birthday. I want to tell him everything that I wanted but I know that’s almost impossible.

I hold my heart back. I can’t tell him. I know if I did tell him, I won’t be able to let him go anymore. I’m yearning for the love from my father. The love that I feel before I learned the truth.

“Father, I love you.”

I kiss his cheek and immediately rush into the bus. My tears overflowed now. My heart is crying. The hardest part, I can’t see him anymore now. I don’t have the strength. The bus is leaving.

Father, forgive me.

‘I dreamt of another you that never leave me alone.’

To be continued…


Hey all, I want to inform you that the next episode of Hana maybe (I said maybe) will be on hiatus. I think that I have to put something else for the next entry as I have decided that this story will be longer than I expect to be. *gets bricked* I also have to think of the best plot to continue this story and this is killing me to update the story weekly that I have more things to study (I’m a dentistry student). And I also often have a huge writer’s block! (Some story writers might have writer’s block where he/she can’t think of anything to write to continue the story for certain time)

As usual, do drop some comments and suggestions. I have sacrificed some of my tears just to finish this opt. So I think that I also want the readers to have the ‘feel’ too. I also put the song from Lindsay Lohan to add more feelings for the scene. I hope who are following my writings will be satisfied with this slight change of writing style.

Ja ne!

~Kimmy Ai~ (^_^)


Miss Kira said...

sad.. ;(
hope hana will get her father back..
n i wanna know more bout mr.hiro..

Fina Sophie said...

u cried? wow u really took this to ur heart, aren't u? no wonder hati pembaca2 pun boleh tersentuh :)

jgn pjg sgt tau, tak sbr nak tahu ending dia ni hehe :D

r.k said...

Tulis panjang pun tadahal Kimmy , baru boleh buat buku . :)

Hana always have his father , its just shes been raised to hate the fact his father have another family . Hana , your father does love you .

ztie said...

ive read it from the start. keep up the good works. ur writing skills is just nice already and u could make a books based on ur ideas :)
cant wait for the next OPT :)